True Life
by aleigh-cullen
Summary: Okay, so this use to be a one-shot poem. Now I'm going to post some more of my poems on here. They don't have to do with my normal Twilight theme these are ones that I wrote about how I feel and my life. I've been told they're good but I wanna truly see.
1. Just a Dream

**Okay, so these are my own personal thoughts and feelings and I finally got up the nerve to broadcast it to all of you and I hope you at least cut me a little slack. But I do want to know your thoughts and such on them. It's even more important here than my other stories because these are more personal so I REALLY want to, no scratch that, need to know what you think. So I hope you read, enjoy and review otherwise I might just go crazy. And I'll post these as I write them. It's a little harder to write these I have to be even more inspired and in a thoughtful mood. But I will try my hardest to write more and post as soon as possible**

**Also, the poem below I had posted before but as a one-shot and it was in the Twilight section. And I might not be able to tell you what every poem is about because they are very personal but I will try to tell you vaguely what they are about, or at least who. Sorry and thanks for reading.**

_Disclaimer-Sorry I just had to put this because for once I can say this....................It's all mine. I own them all. No one else! Mwahhhh. Sorry for my little outburst but it was very nice to finally be able to own it on here and not have to say it belongs to the very talented Stephenie Meyer._

* * *

Is it all just a dream?

Or am I really being left behind.

The scenes playing out in front of me but I'm slowly fading to black in the background.

I'm still standing here but you just look through me.

Is it all just a dream?

Or is this what my life's come to. J

ust standing still never moving forward always stuck in the past.

Watching everyone go by at ease while in falling to my knees.

Is it all just a dream?

Or is my life passing me by.

I look back and see the memories but one in particular and it pulls me in again.

It's like a strong force that won't release me.

I feel I'm almost over it, but then here we go again.

* * *

** I know it's short and some of them are but others are longer. I hope you enjoyed it and continue to read and that you review. You know that little green button that's calling your name yeah just press that. Pretty please!**


	2. Where'd you go?

**I just realized that in the last chapter I didn't tell you who it was about. Well, it was about my father. My familys screwed up and confusing and the man that help created me is sick and twisted and I haven't seen him in 8 years yeah yeah I know technically he's my dad but I call him my sperm donor cause I think it takes more than helping produce someone to be there dad you have to be there for them and protect them with everything you have and someone else did that for me, my brothers dad, confusing story don't wanna give y'all a migrane, and so thats who I call m,y daddy. But the last poem was about the sperm donor of a father.**

**This one is about one of my best friends, we went through a time where we were drifting apart and I felt like I was losing him. We still kinda are. I was greatly upset at first but now I know theres not really anything I can do about it.**

_Disclaimer-It's allllllllllllllll mine!_

* * *

Lying in bed fighting the feelings of regret.

Regret for trusting you.

Regret for even knowing you.

I told you everything, opened my heart and let you in, opened my soul and poured it out to you, and you act like you don't even care.

What happened to the person who I use to know?

What happened to the person who would stay up 'till three in the morning talking to me because I didn't want to be alone?

What happened to the person that cared about what I thought and my opinions, the person who talked to me every day?

What happened to the person that was my best friend?

Maybe I judged you too quickly, maybe I trusted you too easily.

I know you'll never tell but did you ever care?

* * *

**Yes, I realize it sounds like we were more than best friends but we're not. We just got really close really fast and I felt and still feel like I can tell him almost anything. He's just one of those people I feel completely comfortable around. And I know those people who are probably like your in love with him aren't you? Maybe I am, I'm not sure. But what I do know is I can't be with him. And it's not the whole he's to good he'd never want me excuse because he's told me before that he does and asked me to go out with him but he's gone out with to many of my friends and I'd feel bad and I'm not aloud to date him, moms rule. But if you did see our conversation even when he was in a relationship you'd probably think we were going out but that's just cause we joke around with stuff and that's just how we act. But anyway now I'm rambling and I should get to the point strictly best friend. Sorry for all that I know some of my friends on here that are going to read this and they know who I'm talking about and they think something else is going on.**

**Anywayyyyy, review? You'd make me feel special. :)**


	3. Missing

**Okay, so this one I was just in one of those lonely moods feeling like no one cared. Once you read it it's kinda self explanitory. And it envolves someone very special to me, sorry that's not getting revealed. Enjoy.**

_Disclaimer-I own. Plain and simple._

* * *

Would anyone notice if one day I went missing?

Would anyone miss me?

Would they even care?

Some days I wonder.

It seems in the end all I bring is pain.

If I left would it make them happy?

'Cause it seems all I do anymore is try to make other people happy.

When is it my turn?

When do I get to live my life?

Forget my past and see me as I am for you never know how much longer I'll be here.

I'm not like you no matter how hard I've tried.

In the end it feels like only you care.

So when I go keep me in your memory, never forget and don't blame yourself for my mistakes.

I was never perfect even if I tried to play the role.

* * *

**Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know by clicking the tiny green button that produces a miracle(it brightens my day)**


	4. Catch 22

**This one is about a guy, obviously one you read it. No need really for explaining, soo I'm gonna leave you now to read.**

_Disclaimer-I own._

* * *

I stood there pouring my heart out; you stood there wanting to leave.

I was too late.

I didn't realize that all along I could have had you.

You use to want me the way I want you now but I took too long.

Your heart broke and moved on while I had no clue at all.

If only I had realized sooner.

If only you had told me.

If only........you still wanted me.

But now you know that I will stand in the shadows waiting for the miracle that maybe one day you'll want me too.

Until that day just know I love you.

* * *

**I know it's short but I promise the next ones longer. So, how about that review?**


	5. The pain, the hurt, the smile

**This ones a little harder to describe and I can't fully. I hope you understand. I've been through a lot of pain and bull crap in my life and I've learned to hide it very well. I don't like to show my emotions it's been pushed into my head as a sign of weakness and also to me if people don't know that your hurt then they can't hurt you more. I don't really know how to explain it, it's one of those things that makes total sense in my head but I can't explain it outloud or on paper(computer?). But anyway, really the only emotions I show is happiness and anger and I pretty much hide everything else. I show it sometimes but still not all of it I kinda of sugar coat it so no one knows and they don't feel bad or try to understand. I'm the kind of person that I like to figure things out on my own and if I want you to know what I think or feel I'll tell you but otherwise your not gonna have a clue. Yeah yeah I know it's not good to keep things bottled up but I can't help it, it's my protection. So the poem kinda of reflect my thoughts all that and how it's starting to crumble. I hope you enjoy!**

**Okay, I realize how weird that was. I was all serious and slightly depressing then all of a sudden Enjoy! Anyway onto the poem.**

_Disclaimer-Me, yup I own it._

* * *

I've learned to hide the pain well.

I've learned which fake smile best hides the hurt.

The problem?

Just because it looks like it all went away doesn't mean it still doesn't hide in my heart.

It's like an enemy waiting to ambush me when I start to truly fell happy.

The pain is so extreme that I almost double over.

It's becoming less controllable, the smile slips more and they see the pain in my eyes.

The reason?

People slipped through my wall and my heart trembles with fear of more hurt.

Soon the wall will crumble and I will be completely vulnerable.

Without the protection who knows how much pain will escape the cage.

The happy act is just a show it's all it's ever been.

Unfortunately the shows almost over and real life is gonna hit hard.

Who would still be left after seeing the whole real me?

Some have seen glimpses but what will happen when the experience the full affect.

Will they all leave?

Who knows, so for now I'll try my hardest to keep up the smile I have lied with for years.

* * *

**Soo, yeah there it is. I hope you liked it. And I really really really hope you review!**


	6. You

**Again, about a guy. Shhh, he's a secret. ;)**

_Disclaimer-I own! _

* * *

It's you.

It's always been you.

I finally realized what my heart was screaming whenever you're around.

From day one you've haunted my thoughts and dreams.

Now that you're gone, now that you've moved on got tired of waiting on me to realize you're all I've ever wanted.

I can't get you off my mind.

Your face is forever imprinted in my head so that every time I close my eyes I see the perfection that I lost smiling back at me.

Now the tables have turned, just know I will always be here waiting for you to say 'I love you.'

* * *

**Soooo, what'd ya think? Let me know!**


	7. Family?

**This one if of course about family. Most people think it's in the literal sense with the end line 'where did my family go?" well it's about them all changing. Not being the same people they use to be and how we all aren't as close because of that. It is also in the literal sense, my family is all over the place in two different states and some are going back and forth not being able to make up their mind. But it is mainly how all of us have changed so much and so drasticly that we're not the family or people we use to be.**

**I hope you read, enjoy and review.**

_Disclaimer-I'm running out of ways to say it's mine._It's all shattering.

* * *

Breaking beyond repair.

The once tight-fit family is now slowly fading with despair.

One blow after another has left us all broken and scared.

We all sit in silence thinking of the had been and could be.

We all try to keep going but we're all left knowing it will never be the same.

One by one we started drifting away, things changed but we all still tried to keep up the act.

Now we are all left hurt and betrayed by the people we love and trusted most.

So just tell me this; where did my family go?

* * *

**So, with that reviewing, let's get it started. Pretty please it would be highly appreciated.**


End file.
